Genderfunkification
Yes, I took my gym hours and applied them to writing hours. Then I got sucked into an abyss of debated communication of social media.
Yes, that is what I started to do with my much coveted time.
Well, of course that has inspired me to write this blog, and yes, I will get to the much anticipated post about my herbs.
Genderfunktification.
When I debated this, I used a curse-word in the middle of my newly coined word.
I am ear deep in the past.
Death dates. birth-dates, genealogy, memories, pained, joyful....what a plethora of stuff. I knew I would have to go through this to do what was necessary to finish my book.
As I am extremely emotional right now, I feel the need to stay away from the Woman's March topics of today. Trust me when I say I have so much to say about the subject. If you know me, then you know I have much to say about MOST subjects.
I have been a victim. I have been raped, gang raped, ridiculed, beat, partially buried alive, surrounded by murderers, political activists, Senators, Rock Stars. I have been severely and sexually abused by BOTH sexes. My children have been victimized, time and time again, by men and woman.
Some years ago...I don't know exactly when, (and I won't really know, until I get deeper into my writing,) but something drastically changed. I wish I could say it was when "I found God," but it was not. I only found more shame, blame, guilt and incomprehensible demoralization. It took many years to get past my walls of angst to find grace, love and healing.
Even since I found a loving, healing God, I have been a victim of countless suicides surrounding me and more death and pain...even life threatening illness in myself...but somewhere...somehow...God moved me one tiny step at a time..to no longer being a victim.
Oh I fought victimization hard and I have since early childhood. Schoolyard fights, family discord, yelling and screaming, rebel, bitch they said.... Then I finally succumbed and gave in. I just started to take it... I deserved it all didn't I? My little sister was locked in a mental institution, for "telling." She was around 8-9.
This post isn't about all the pain...I could go on and on about the horrific sights, sounds and situations I have been in. I have seen death, rape, abortions, baby selling, addictions of all kinds, murder, suicide and torture beyond belief.
This post is about choice.
All men are not asshats! I do not need a pussy hat! All woman are not saints! They also abuse, oh what? Because they have been abused? Sheesh if that is the criteria, then I should be a mass murderer! Men were abused too. The greatest offender in my life was severely abused in military school. I didn't even know about it until I was in my late 30's. Does that excuse it? No, not for men, nor women.
All gays, homophobes, bis , trans-gendered are not bad, nor great, all Christians, Muslims, Buddhists etc.. are not hateful, all black, white, american Indian, Eastern Indian ad nauseam are good, bad or ugly.
A jerk is a jerk! Yes, rules have changed and because of woman/men and children speaking out, we have more and more wonderful exposure of that which is horrific. Changes are continually being made, some not fast enough. I applaud the movement to stop all abuse: Animal, Male, Female, The Earth, physical, mental, Spiritual! I shall join it when not a basket-case of memories being categorized.
My online post was:
My wonderful husband, nurses my wounds, opens my doors, buys me flowers, plane tickets to stay with a sad friend... Never asking what I did the week I was gone, just how I felt and if I needed anything. He snuggles into my neck and tells me how wonderful he thinks I am. He has since day one.. Been over 20 yrs now.. It's only better.. He has grown as a human, a man, father, husband. I was a vibrant musician when we met. I became a bedridden vegetable for about 10yrs... He never, ever gave up on me. Please, believe they exist. Men and women
Boy was my quick post fodder for attack. ♥ hence this fun little blog post. How dare I share the praises of my adoring husband.
There are wonderful men out there, and wonderful woman.
Phil 4:8, not always the easy road, let me tell you. I have been crying for two days. I mourn, my soul mourns. My mind and heart know I will be ok, but I mourn. The one thing you will not see from me though is HATE! Oh anger? Sure, most often when things don't go my way. Forgiveness has been my greatest healer. Yet, to learn to forgive, knowing that doesn't equal condoning, has been a growing challenge. I will never condone the devastating abuses that I have endured, but oh, how I can forgive, which opens me up to love.
Will I tolerate abuse? For me? My children? My community? My fellows (Men Woman of all walks of life , nationalities, religions and hair color..) Oh hell no!
I am one strong woman. Please do not think for a minute that I have become a pussy-hat. I would probably wear one though!
No. I am woman! I am human! I am a force to be reckoned with. I applaud you and your need to walk through this how you see fit. Shoot, even if you choose hate, a pink, purple or black hat...I get to choose my battles, my way, my God and I...I encourage you yours, even if different than mine. Isn't that what it's all about?
Celebrate the differences, in unity and against all abuse.
Choices...Life is too short. I have had enough darkness for one lifetime.~shell
How about a blog about my herbs and oils? Lighten this sh*& up! hahaha
Comments
Post a Comment