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Bring Drops of Joy in the Pain

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First off, thank YOU, thank you for subscribing, being inspired and inspiring and a part of this blog of processing and hope. I honestly don't have any idea how I would get through this life without the many of you who support me. One of the reasons for the blog was to communicate with you collectively, because I couldn't manage it one at a time. The response has been overwhelming,
uplifting and life giving.

Armchair Warrior These Days. 
I have posted a lot in the past two days.  Life being filled with processing grief, pain and yes, even great joys.

A note/rant on The Light Will Slaughter the Darkness
A testimony in Instagram 
A note about Little Angel (song available.)
Now a full fledged Blog!

Bring Drops of Joy In the Pain
Sunday morning at church, I had an intense worship time and posted about it on my IG account, link above.
We had empowering guests at the church, a couple, with offerings of hope, experience and strength. They have a wonderful ministry with a great book…

Right of Passage, His and Mine. AROO!

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Right of Passage, His and Mine. AROO! Death and dying: What is my biggest fear? Most would think my legacy. What will I leave behind? Who will they say I was?

No, not you, not society, but my children.
Yes, of course there is some vain concern about such things.
My biggest fear has always been the pain that I will leave behind.  I have gut wrenching overwhelming PTSD from the violence I have known, and the atrocious deaths I have faced,

I have felt more pain because of death and dying than I could ever explain here. At 17 I was at my mother's side, for the remaining months of her life. She succumbed the month after I turned 18.

I was the only one taking care of her. My father sent everyone else away. The pain it caused my siblings was unbearable. Not so much the death, as the absence from the process. I am the eldest and felt their pain, and watched as the years passed. I am the last surviving member of my immediate family of 7. My first husband died in an insane manner of violent …

Spartan!! Liver Disease be Damned!

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Spartan!!  Liver Disease be Damned
I have been procrastinating on writing this blog/post. 
We must take the bad with the good. I have been trying to just fill my life, mind, posts with all the positive notions that I can. We have had some crime/drama/death these past months, yet there's been great loveliness and glorious things too.
Right now I am feeling the spiral down. I pray it is just a lull, but test results have been validating my concerns. I need to get as involved in my medical journey, as I am my children, family, recovery and healthy activity. I have been trying to get everything "in order" before I start the medical process of tests, solutions and the horrifying dive, rather, the leap into the guinea pig hell, that comes from turning it over to Western Medicine.
I promised myself and my family that I would get going in May. Yes, I know it's August! I did go in for tests, procedures and prodding in May. Results were unfavorable and the solutions were non ex…

How do you cope with brutality? Devastation, violation, destruction?

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How do you cope with brutality? What about devastation, violation, destruction? 

Feel free to let me know.


Some people never see that side of life, except on the television, and nowadays it is mass produced via social media.
I have seen some ugly things in my life. I have been victimized, much more than I want to discuss here.

Rape, gang-rape, murder, children dying, sisters institutionalized because of victimization, later institutionalized as law breakers..Suicide of many...oh so many. The list of atrocities is truly endless it seems.

 I can not just sit here and write it all out...

I qualify as a victorious warrior! 
I am the only one in my immediate family (of 7) still alive.

My extended family and my lil nuclear family have seen their share of horrendous victimization too.

Where is the hope and strength when the battle continues?

What to do when your children are victims? Perpetrators? Potential Victims?

How do we protect? How do we apply all that keeps us sane?

We do the very next…