Bring Drops of Joy in the Pain


First off, thank YOU, thank you for subscribing, being inspired and inspiring and a part of this blog of processing and hope. I honestly don't have any idea how I would get through this life without the many of you who support me. One of the reasons for the blog was to communicate with you collectively, because I couldn't manage it one at a time. The response has been overwhelming,
uplifting and life giving.

Armchair Warrior These Days. 


I have posted a lot in the past two days.  Life being filled with processing grief, pain and yes, even great joys.

A note/rant on The Light Will Slaughter the Darkness
A testimony in Instagram 
A note about Little Angel (song available.)
Now a full fledged Blog!

Bring Drops of Joy In the Pain


Sunday morning at church, I had an intense worship time and posted about it on my IG account, link above.
We had empowering guests at the church, a couple, with offerings of hope, experience and strength. They have a wonderful ministry with a great book and help many people with their calling. They have lost a daughter. God called her home.

I know that very little bit about them, because even as my battle churned in side, saying "oh hell no, I can't I just can't..." I stayed in my seat and listened to their welcome, trying to be respectful. My heart could not take one more drop of pain, no one's pain, not mine or anyone else's. Not even those who have healed, using their healing to help others.

I bolted. I mean BOLTED out of there, not able to fathom another drop.


I have a dragonfly story, it's long and drawn out, but dragonflies have followed me everywhere, since the deaths of my sisters and father, then more after my brother. My children and husband have witnessed it...it is a constant. Look---another...

This wonderful couple had their stories, perhaps about butterflies as my husband and son said "like you Mama......"

 I was sinking fast. Perhaps if we took a drive...

This week, I wanted to paint, but was too ill to move. Maybe write a song, even moved to the piano because the guitar was too much. Ok, how about playing in the garden?...Ohh it has been so hot and humid. I need cooler weather to even sit among the beauty. Things were just not going my way.

We made it to the funeral that we needed to attend, and it was the greatest "service of life" I have ever attended.
The joy, hope, fellowship filled my cup instead of drained it. This was my first clue about the solution to my deepening problem.  I fell deeply more in love with my church.

Joy. It heals.
Where am I finding my joy? The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

Helping others (currently,) is doing the drain. All my "go to's" have been blocked, leaving me with only my faith. Is that enough?

We had company coming in from CA. They recently lost their young son. I have loved this couple for a very long time. My very ministry started with this friend's cousin, at CYA almost 40years ago! (Yes, I am old lol) How will I be of service?

It came to me on the ride. Add joy to the puddle of pain. Just tiny drops. It's like a weird chemical that dissipates the oily residue clouding everything. When the pain is too great, it might be best that we drop drops of hope, love and life, bringing an ounce of joy.
Noooo not happy happy happy, ignore the elephant in the room BS. I mean gently loving via drops of hope.
Sometimes adding my painful experiences, in relating, or in showing them healing ...(Like this wonderful couple at church, ) can hurt the devastated even more. Perhaps they just can not handle another ounce of pain.

I normally share my experience, my hope and strength. My recovery has taught me that process, but there is a time for that.


They have enough pain and if they have an empathetic nature, my pain, past or present can be overwhelming. Even sharing the healing that came from such great pains.

In my excruciating pain, I have learned a new truth about myself. How can I better be a benefit to others?

Giving them exactly what I needed. Drops of joy.

Heal my heart Lord, so that I can bear other's burdens. My cup is too filled with pain. 
The joy of the Lord is my strength. Fill me Lord, heal me. 
It's not by might (I am not mighty) Nor by Power, (Powerless over so much tragedy) but by My Spirit says the Lord! 
Reign (rain)down on me.
I need to be useful with my time on Earth.

I need to drain my heart of sorrow and fill it with joy.

It's time to heal... Again.

An endless battle... until it is over. 
I wrote a song, a billion years ago to a Psalm of David... How long oh Lord......I will sing of your unfailing love. Psalm 13:1-6

Thanks, with much love, ~shell

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